Life is so good right now it scares me. During the past four years I've faced what could only be described as a bizarre amount of challenges. First I was gifted a child whose needs surpassed what I felt I could give. Not only her development but very existence seemed all too tenuous. And then my marriage...now thankfully gone...fell victim to a series of problems which shall remain unnamed. In the wake of these troubles I find a foreign state of being. What I can only assume is happiness.
Ruby is four years old. She is so smart it kills me. She is brave and strong. She is passionate and loving. She thrives in school. She is healthy for now. She is miraculous. And I have become such a good mother. I don't say that to sound vain but when you find the thing you were put on this earth to do you know it. And I know it. I may not know much else but I KNOW I was meant to mother to my child. And frankly I rock at it. Maybe not 100% of the time but I'd venture only slightly less. I am a good mom. This is not the life I would have designed for my daughter but it is oddly enough the best one she could have. What's that phrase? It's only through the darkness that you can see the stars? For my little family, how true.
And so what else can I really say? For a brief moment on this journey the water is placid. Its smooth surface a much appreciated reprieve. The rapids may come again, most certainly will come again, but for now all is well. And so I will relish in the peace. Secure my vessel for whatever comes ahead and for this small moment enjoy the beauty that surrounds me.
