Grateful

Time for another post on here. I haven't written one in a while...again...but I've just had a glass of wine and Ruby is sleeping so here goes!

The other day I was hit by the door of realization that I would assume is quite familiar to parents of children who are "medically fragile." Ruby had just woken from a nap and was characteristically cranky and cuddle-y. As she snuggled against my chest I stroked her head and sang to her as usual. But unlike our average post-nap cuddle I began to cry. My mind drifted to thinking about how she would not be with me, just like this, in nearly any other time period. Were she born 100, 50, or even 20 years ago she would have died. Or in a best case scenario, have been sustained on high levels of oxygen and in a much more delicate state. I couldn't help but imagine all of the amazing doctors, children, researchers, nurses, scientists, parents, animals, and so forth who have created a world in which my daughter can not only survive but thrive. Truly thrive! The countless variables that have played a role in her ability to live are mind-boggling. And because of all of those steps. Because of all of those pieces of the puzzle I am beyond the luckiest person that lived to have my child cranky and sweet nuzzling her face into my chest.

My life may be difficult at times. And Ruby's will undoubtedly be even more so...but all of that chemistry of universe will amount to something. Because she is here and with me. She laughs everyday. She smiles everyday. She reads with me everyday. She colors. She plays. She learns. She cries. She grows into an evermore admirable person everyday. All because of a hundred-thousand moments in time that led to her having a surgery that saved her life. And she gets to live it! I am simply in awe of this. And I will NEVER take it for granted.