Sassy Toddler Syndrome

Last week was rough. Ruby became a toddler last Wednesday...seriously it happened that quickly. Because of her chromosome deletion I'm always on the lookout for behavioral disorders. And as much as I HATE to put her in that box and slap a label on the outside, it's so hard not to. I was so stressed those first couple days. And when stressed I become vulnerable. Susceptible to ideas like, "draw a hard line with your child," "set strict boundaries," "be rigid with discipline." But I know that I am not that mom. That's just not who I am. I am not a screamer. I am not strict. I am quiet...most of the time. And I am flexible. That is how I am going to parent my child.

Ruby is not quite 1 1/2 years old. She is in an odd stage of life. She understands desire, want, and pleasure, but has an extremely limited concept of self-control or patience. She can't even communicate her frustrations and I know she feels limited by her inability to walk and move the way her peers do. All of these things lead to minor behavioral problems. I see very clearly now that they are NOT abnormal behavioral problems. Ruby is simply a toddler.

I know that Dan and I were both demanding children. Actually Dan is still demanding :P We are very emotional, we are very contrary, we are VERY stubborn about certain things and as toddlers I can only imagine how these traits exhibited themselves. Undoubtedly Ruby is like us. She is very determined and insistent, and while these characteristics helped her to survive her first few months in this world they can make for a combative toddler. Thank goodness she is also incredibly affectionate, bright, compassionate, and adorable. :)

I feel renewed and freed by this realization that she is simply growing up. And I know I can handle it, because my mom could handle me, and Dan's mom could handle him--although I have no idea how! But here's how I plan to "handle" Ruby: I will love her. I will acknowledge all of her accomplishments and all of her good behavior. I will not sweat the small stuff or turn our house into a war zone where it's parent vs. child. I will keep things upbeat and positive and transition quickly out of discipline with distraction. And I will have fun with her! Because after all this is a very little person we are talking about. What good does it do to scream at or punish someone who can not understand what is going on. The only thing she will learn from that is to mimic aggressive and negative behavior and that is not who I want my child to be. I think that some people are too quick to use the word spoiled when a kid is merely being a kid. A child is not spoiled because they whine or throw a tantrum or two. They are a CHILD! That doesn't mean I will reward bad behavior or allow Ruby to hit or have everything she wants just because she wants it. It means that I will discipline her the way a 1 1/2 year old should be disciplined--with a whole lot of forgiveness and understanding for what she is going through as a developing human being.